The Man Who Taught His Asshole To Talk

Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard.

This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.

This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called “The Better ‘Ole” that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, “Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?”

“Nah I had to go relieve myself.”

After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.

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Jim 

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]  

Joy Division - Transmission

Whether you sniff it, smoke it, eat it, or shove it up your ass, the result is the same: addiction.

My heart leaps up when I behold 
A rainbow in the sky: 
So was it when my life began, 
So is it now I am a man, 
So be it when I shall grow old 
Or let me die! 
The Child is father of the Man: 
And I could wish my days to be 
Bound each to each by natural piety.

William Wordsworth

Alone w/everybody

the flesh covers the bone 
and they put a mind 
in there and 
sometimes a soul, 
and the women break 
vases against the walls 
and the men drink too 
much 
and nobody finds the 
one 
but keep 
looking 
crawling in and out 
of beds. 

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Could any hell 

be more horrible

than now &

real?

An explosion of birds..

Jim & Robbie